Good Stuff

Drew- Dialogue  Landry-Gate A-4 by Naomi Shihab Nye

My narrative is about the first ever water skiing and how I could do anything if I put my mind to it. I think I am doing a great job using vivid detail in my writing but also learning a lot about this new form of writing. Some advice I could use is that sentence fluency and the dialogue in my writing. This experience that I am writing about had way more depth and vivid detail than I had remembered. Overall the narrative is going great but could I could use some advice on making it better.

"Where were you last night from 12 am to 3am?", Detective Stevens asked. Hunter responded, " I went to a bar called Dandy D's with my friends." Detective Stevens asked, "What time did you leave and arrive home at?" Hunter responded, "It was sometime around 2:30 when we left and then 3 when we got home." Detective Stevens responds with, "Were there any complications on the way back from the bar?" Hunter said, "Nothing that I know of detective." Detective Stevens responds, "Then why did women say that you had run into her backing out of the parking lot at Dandy D's Bar." Hunter says, "Well well she was at fault too." Detective asked, "How so?" Hunter responds, "Ok you've got me."

Peyton- Dear 11 year old Eli- Dear Eleven-Year-Old

     Dear 12 year old never quit or give up on a task that has been given to you. Listen to your coaches and your family. This is the time where you figure what you are good at and things might get a little challenging. No matter if you are bad at catching, cannot run fast, or even make an A,  just try your best and never quit. If you really like this girl and you want to talk to her just say hey or you look good today.      Even though quitting sounds like a great and easy route to go it is not. It will never get anything done and you will have many regrets. For example, if you are in the final 1/2 mile and you feel like faking an injury or slowing down don't. Even if you pass out or throw up after the race don't after the race because you will have a sense of accomplishment and will be happy. So don't be a quitter and never give up no matter what it is.

     The narrative Mint Snowball by Naomi Shihab Nye is full of ideas, vivid details, and significance. The story really makes an enormous impact on the narrator's life. Not only does it impact her life but also the family's prized recipe of the Mint Snowball. There is one aspect of this narrative that really stands out. That aspect is her word choice, in trying to cover that vivid detail section of a narrative. For example, when describing the snowball she says "a flamboyant elixir of mint". Also when putting the syrup on it the grandfather "permeated with mint syrup".      Another component in making this narrative so interesting was the purposeful sentence fragments and punctuation errors used throughout the story. Especially toward the end of the first paragraph where there are about four fragments. To top it off the rhetorical questions really lead you into comprehending the real meaning of this narrative.

Peyton- Hurricane Katrina Naya- Milk and Honey